It is New Year's Eve 1852 and an ancestor sits at his desk by
candlelight. He dips his pen in ink and begins to write his New
1. No man is truly well-educated unless he learns to spell his name at least three different ways within the same document. I resolve to give the appearance of being extremely well-educated in this coming year.
2. I resolve to see to it that all of my children will have the same names as my ancestors have used for six generations in a row.
3. My age is no one's business but my own. I hereby resolve to never list the same age of birth year twice on any document.
4. I resolve to have each of my children baptized in a different church
-- either in a different faith, or in a different parish.
Every third child will not be baptized at all or will be baptized by an itinerant minister who keeps no records.
5. I resolve to move to a new town, new county, or new state, at least once every 10 years -- just before those pesky enumerators come around asking silly questions.
6. I will make every attempt to reside in counties and towns where no vital records are maintained or where the courthouse burns down every few years.
7. I resolve to join an obscure religious cult that does not believe in record keeping or in participating in military service.
8. When the tax collector comes to my door, I'll lend him my pen, which has been dipped in rapidly fading blue ink.
9. I resolve that if my beloved wife, Mary, should die, I will marry another Mary.
l0. I resolve not to make a will. Who needs to spend money on a lawyer?